If you’re wondering how to improve your erection then you’re either approaching middle age and discovering that it’s harder to stay erect for longer periods of time, or you may be younger and have noticed recently that you seem to have softer erections.
Of course it doesn’t feel right because when we’re feeling happy and horny, we feel fully erect, “hard as a rock” as they say. A man may even feel shamed at his inability to get hard and a woman may wonder if she doesn’t turn him or is lacking in her technique.
Just how important is it to a man improve your erection? The truth is somewhere in between the scale of “Just ignore it” and “Let’s panic!”
The first thing to understand is that no man, no matter how young and vibrant, is going to be perfectly hard every time he thinks about sex. You may be hard one day, masturbate or have sex, and then be “soft” for hours or even the rest of the night.
Scientifically speaking, even teenage boys are not immune to the effects of “shrinkage” and weak erections, especially if they experience an intense orgasm and then go through a refractory period. According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine, both men and women go through recovery stages after orgasm and during this time, they do not respond to sexual stimulation.
For some teenagers, they can become erect again within minutes. However, as a man ages that time may increase from minutes to hours or even days, in some cases. What do you don’t actually hear about too often is the fact that even teenagers deal with soft erections occasionally. Other reasons for occasional “softies” in teens include:
- Performance Anxiety
- Alcohol Abuse
- Masturbating too much and chaffing the penis or injuring the blood vessels
- And even too much bicycling, according to LiveStrong!
The main difference between younger and middle aged men is that the older you get, the more you have to fight an uphill battle, dealing with a drop in testosterone levels. Before you panic and figure you have a debilitating illness (or it’s the end of your sex life forever) let’s discuss what actually happens when a man experiences a “full” erection.
Table of contents
- 1 How Erections Should Work
- 2 The Meaning of Erectile Dysfunction
- 3 Obstacles That Literally Cock-Block Us from Sexual Fulfillment
- 4 What Can a Doctor Do for a Brother?
- 5 Improve Your Erection Power – The Power is Yours!
- 6 It’s All In Your Head (and Head!) – How to Solve Erectile Dysfunction Mentally
- 7 Improve Your Erection by Improving Your Mood
- 8 Relaxation is Key
How Erections Should Work
According to WebMD, after a sexual thought (or perhaps a scent or a taste) occurs, a man’s nerves sends messages to the blood vessels in the penis. Arteries relax and veins close up, allowing blood flow to increase and then get trapped within the corpora cavernosa. This is what makes your penis swell…well, we should clarify, it makes your “swell penis” grow!
Ideally, a man who is fully erect has plenty of blood flowing. A man who cannot get an erection, or who is only half peaked, is experiencing some type of blood flowing obstacle. This is why older men are sometimes prescribed Viagra, which directly increases blood flow to the penis, allowing him – not to maintain a multi-hour erection, as some people misunderstand – but to become hard more easily after a refractory period. Without the proper blood flow, a man may masturbate or have sex and still lose the stiffness of his member.
Testosterone hormone also plays a part and if a man has low levels of testosterone (whether because he’s aging or because he is in poor health) this can cause occasional to continual impotence or a number of soft erections.
The Meaning of Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction does not only refer to permanent impotence but also occasional to moderate problems with soft erections and quick orgasms. The problems with ED can be physical or psychological, or in some cases, both. While physical problems plague older men, younger men are not immune—especially if there is a problem in sending the proper signals from the brain to the body.
Problems in sending signals can affect men of all ages and these are very often caused by complex relationship issues—even if we don’t realize it at first. According to The National Kidney and Urologic Diseases Information Clearinghouse 10-20 percent of erection problems cases are traced to psychological factors, not physical.
Men may not pride themselves on being “sensitive” beings but the truth is that if they feel guilt, anxiety, depression, or have low self-confidence, they will not be able to perform—despite their earnest motivations to make this all just about sex. Men do need an “ideal environment”, at least mentally speaking, in order to perform fully erect.
Obstacles That Literally Cock-Block Us from Sexual Fulfillment
Removing the obstruction of full blood flow is the goal here, rather than relying on Viagra or any other miracle drug. Physically speaking, a man at any age has reason to be concerned if he is consistently soft and has trouble gaining an erection at all.
This is NOT the result of “aging”, as much as it is a symptom of another condition—which may be an even more critical issue than sex. In recent years, many doctors have found a correlation between erectile dysfunction and a risk of heart attack. That’s BIG news for any man, no matter his age, and a reminder to get checked by a doctor to rule out possible heart conditions.
WebMD reported that even “mild ED, without heart problems,” is cause for concern since these men could develop cardiovascular conditions later on in life. Researchers found that men over the age of 45 who had erection difficulties, even if they didn’t have heart disease, were 50 percent more likely to develop major heart conditions in the future. In addition to heart disease, ED can be a symptom of diabetes, obesity, high cholesterol and high blood pressure—among other less common conditions.
What Can a Doctor Do for a Brother?
A doctor cannot only help you with lifestyle change tips (to improve sexual function) but can also give you a “complete blood count test” to check for why there may be problems with blood flow and if it’s indicative of a physical disease.
The good news is that once a doctor identifies the problem dispensing a solution to improve erection will be relatively easy. Heart disease can be treated with medications or in extreme cases, surgery. Mild heart problems can be alleviated with lifestyle change and avoiding harmful foods like processed meats, too much sweets and high fat foods. Sometimes doctors can even treat ED directly, with medications injected into the penis or urethra, such as alprostadil, or the more conservative Viagra prescription.
It’s also wise to see a doctor to get a thorough examination including all related systems and organs, such as the prostate, rectum and nervous system, which also play a part in determining a man’s sexual performance.
Improve Your Erection Power – The Power is Yours!
But as He-Man used to say (and he was no stranger to impotence, by the way) “I have the power!” and that is precisely what more men need to start thinking. It’s not the wisest course of action to wait until you notice a problem with erections to start taking life seriously.
The time to treat and prevent future problems is right now.
Harvard Health ran a feature on erectile dysfunction explaining the importance of becoming healthy, not just to live longer, but as a means to keep yourself in the game sexually speaking. They recommended that men of all ages:
- Walk 30 minutes a day (which according to a Harvard study reduced ED by 41 percent)
- Eat more fruits and vegetables, as well as fish and whole grains
- Drink more water
- Check their blood pressure, triglycerides, blood sugar and cholesterol
- And get fit, since men with smaller waistlines suffered from ED 50 percent less than their tubbier contemporaries
It’s All In Your Head (and Head!) – How to Solve Erectile Dysfunction Mentally
The most common psychological blocks to fuller erections are naturally depression, anxiety, fear, whether from performance anxiety or guilt, and relationship mistrust. However, there can also be more subtle problems, especially if you notice that you are becoming more comfortable masturbating rather than having sex with your partner.
Some men living with psychological ED are comfortable masturbating in a routine but are gradually becoming sexually withdrawn from spontaneous sex with a partner. They may even have what they consider to be a good relationship with their partner—but are for some reason or another, avoiding sexual intimacy. The influence of erectile dysfunction reaches far!
Improve Your Erection by Improving Your Mood
In Psychology Today, sex therapist Lisa Thomas stated that getting over psychological erectile problems involves opening lines of communication with your partner. There could be a problem in misreading cues or a huge misunderstanding in what the both of you want from sex and from each other. Intimacy is the bigger issue than just sexual compatibility alone. Even if there are major sexual problems, most couples make time to spend together, in romance, in touching and caressing.
If you haven’t even had time or the desire to be with your partner, this indicates a major block in communication. After all there are many ways to be intimate and yes, even to have sex without the hardest cock in the henhouse.
A Huffington Post article by sex expert Pamela Madsen reminded readers that among couples who can’t have a lot of “hard sex” (due to disease or permanent dysfunction) a soft penis erection can still experience sexual pleasure. A soft penis can still bring about orgasm. Most importantly, a soft penis does not have to impede sexual desire, loving sex with a partner, or a complete sensual experience.
Relaxation is Key
If you find that you are sporting softies while making love as of late, consider whether it’s the routine itself that may be causing you to tense up and thus inhibit blood flow. Interestingly, a recent study stated that one in four men who are seeking medical help for lack of hard erections are under the age of 40. Furthermore, nearly half of all younger ED sufferers had a “severe form” of ED—not just the occasional bad day.
This indicates that we as men, of all ages, races, creeds and beliefs, are under too much stress! That’s why every man who may be experiencing erection difficulty should make it a point to relax before sex and stop viewing hard intercourse as the goal.
Instead, focus on your breathing and on making your whole body—not your penis—comfortable. Don’t worry about the size or shape. Just spend time with your partner and, if you prefer, touch each other for pleasure. Simply eliminating the need to be “hard” all the time may help you to let go of the performance anxiety that leads to weak erections.
Time magazine ran a feature highlighting on the need to breathe deeper and relax in all aspects of life, since deep breathing relaxes us, increases our self-awareness, calms the nervous system, reduces stress and increases focus. Doesn’t that sound like exactly what a man needs to get his erection back?
For example one exercise is to breathe deeply breathe in through your nose for four to six seconds and then exhale for four to six seconds. This form of diaphragm breathing “stretches” the lungs and helps to reduce heart rate and blood pressure. Don’t just breathe deep when you’re stressed—make it a daily pattern and especially before sexual activity.
Meditation is also a sex booster and may be just what a man needs to get over a mental block. Tantric sex, as part of the Tantra discipline, teaches that one effective way to improve your erection is to engage in visualization. Whereas the Tantra had a lot of vivid imagery in its ancient verses, the point of visualizing before, during and after sex is not the religious symbolism. Rather it’s the ability to help re-imagine the environment and your body in a state of piece.
An article in Psychology Today, stated that people who meditate vividly were able to experience “alterations in perception” and a change in self-awareness—both of which can help in intensifying the sensual experience.
The long and short of it, a better erection comes when you invest time in healing yourself, whether it’s a physical or mental recovery. Rather than feeding anxiety and falling into the trap of trying to force your body to cooperate, be kind to yourself. Take the time to enjoy the act of love, the slow sensuality and anticipation that drove you crazy as a virginal teen. Work your way up to a full erection by helping your mind and body to come to an agreement.
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