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The importance of long foreplay - Sexual Improvements
April 14, 2016

The importance of long foreplay

long foreplay is the start of the best sex she ever had

long foreplayThe sexual motor of the average woman doesn’t warm up as fast as the one af the average man, as you probably know already. Long foreplay is meant to get yourself and your partner aroused to the maximum before starting the more serious sexual act.


These more serious sexual acts that we perform as men when we enter our penis into her vagina are no fun for the woman just before starting sex. Without foreplay this could mean a bad start to a new sexual adventure.

Men are immediately ready for action and long foreplay is an option for us. The reasons why we like a fun and long foreplay before sex are often completely different than women’s reasons.

Foreplay is not only good to get the woman in the mood; it is mostly a lot of fun for us men as well.

Advantages of foreplay for men

The advantages of foreplay for men are not as well-known. We are known for wanting action straight away and for wanting to go as fast as possible during sex with a woman. This all depends on the stamina, the age and the sexual experience of the man, but in most cases we are ready for action much sooner than the woman.

Full erection

Our erection needs some time to reach its maximum during sex. The speed at which the penis fills up with blood differs in every man, and for some of us it can take quite a while.

Have you ever noticed this? Just try and check you erection during say the first five minutes and the last five minutes of sex. You will notice the difference. With good foreplay you’ll be able to reach this maximum stiffness at the beginning of sex already. This is good for the appearance and it makes the penis more sensitive, which can make sex more fun. The maximum hardness makes sex more enjoyable because of the extra vaginal stimulation.

Increased libido

The longer we wait for that moment of direct stimulation and penetration, the more our sexual urge increases. This makes the moment sex starts even nicer, we build up extra sexual tension and this will come to its peak with very enjoyable consequences.

Making sex last longer with long foreplay

One of the main subjects of this website is premature ejaculation or cumming too soon. It can be difficult to let sex last if you find it difficult to postpone your orgasm. A really long foreplay session can on the one hand help you to make sex last for a decent amount of time; on the other hand you can make your partner cum before you do, so you can both fully enjoy sex intensely. Lasting longer in bed starts with long foreplay.

Getting to know each other

Starting off with serious sexual acts like penetration creates a long foreplay is perfect for exploring her bodysexual haze for men which makes them act by mainly using their instinct. It‘s all about the feeling and because there isn’t much communication going on, you don’t always know if your partner is enjoying it as much as you do.

Extended foreplay is like a calm and controlled time during sex in which you can find out how you can please your partner. Does she like sweet intimate sex, or is she quite experienced? Does she need a tougher approach to reach a climax or is there a certain approach that she really loves?

What if...

Maybe there is something she can’t cope with during sex.

You store all those signals in your knowledge base, and you’ll take that with you when penetration takes place. Now you are more aware of how to get her to ecstasy and how to let her enjoy maximum pleasure. This also works the other way round. She can also discover during foreplay what your favourite sex actions are, what you like most and how to best stimulate you.

She loves giving you a good time as well, we tend to forget this during sexual urges. Let her experiment on you as well, and if it’s the first time you are together, as is the case with a one night stand, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to communicate a lot and to let her know what you enjoy.

Hint: tell her during foreplay which sex moves you really love so she can putall this knowledge to practice later on!

Advantages of long foreplay for women

As mentioned before, the most obvious advantage of long foreplay for women is the fact that they need more time to get physically and mentally ready for ‘the act’. A woman can start feeling like having sex at the beginning phases of sexual arousal, but more is needed to make her ready for it.

Be a gentleman

The first reason may be a bit of a cliché, but we now live in the 21st century and we expect a civilised approach to sex of both men and women.

One of the big advantages of slowly building up with foreplay is that as a man you can show that you have control over your lust. In this way you show a woman that she means a lot to you. Because if she didn’t mean anything to you, why would you hold back? A long build-up is stimulating for both parties, because she also keeps her lust under control because of you. This will make the tension rise and the sex following this will be extra pleasant.

Physical reasons

We get an erection when we are aroused that is all we need to get going.long foreplay is the start of the best sex

It’s different for women. To make penetration pleasurable for women, the vagina needs to become wetter. The vagina turns wetter when a woman gets increasingly aroused, but the speed at which this happens is different for every woman. It takes some time and some women produce very little vaginal moisture, however aroused they are.

During arousal in women a certain process takes place in the pubic area which is comparable to men. A big amount of blood streams to the vagina and the surrounding muscles tense a little. During this process the labia will become more sensitive to touch and only then sexual stimulation of that area is enjoyable for a woman. If you start too soon with a rough approach, you run the risk of letting the ship sink before it reached the harbour.

The last physical reason to let foreplay last longer is relaxation. Foreplay ensures that a woman gets used to your presence. In new sexual relationships it is often the case that a woman needs a bit more time to let herself go completely. If you don’t take this time and you start immediately with penetration, you risk it not being nice for her, which will make it difficult for her to focus on you and to give you pleasure as she hasn’t had the time to relax.

Mark Meyers

Mark is founder and sexcoach at Sexual Improvements. "Anyone can have an awesome sexlife with the right information!"

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