Cunnilingus. Learning to do it better!

Fellatio is the term for oral sex performed on men, and cunnilingus is the term for oral sex performed on women. It is also named ‘eating pussy’, ‘going down, ‘giving lip service’, and many others. This is a part of sex that men often ignore. What’s annoying is that most men don’t even know that they are not giving their partner all the pleasure they can with cunnilingus.

A big part of the male population still sees cunnilingus as something necessary. They don’t always find it fun to do, and often the man just wants to do it quickly to get rid of it and to get his own turn as soon as possible. This disturbs many women during sex; it is high time we do something about it!

In this article I will give you a few tips about performing cunnilingus in a way that will surprise any woman. These are the little techniques and facts which she always hoped you’d know.

The problem during cunnilingus

Men are often pragmatic beings, which is often the reason why cunnilingus goes wrong. Most of us don’t mind satisfying our partner orally. We work at it diligently; our input is not the problem. The problem most men make during cunnilingus is to approach it as they would to their own body.

You can hardly blame an inexperienced man for this, the only reference of sexual feelings we have is our own body. So we try, understandably, to transfer the form of oral sexual stimulation that we know to her body. That’s where it goes wrong…,

Her body is not like ours, and that’s not only the physical part. The feelings, the sexual stimulation and the processing of it, the emotions, the erogenous zones, they are all different. The difference with the male body is so big that we just do not know what to do. We apply cunnilingus as we think is logical. Up to that moment we’re still full of energy. But when we don’t get the reaction and the pleasure we expected, we start doubting what we do.

It’s often during the act that we realise we don’t have a clue of what we’re doing. Cunnilingus is not complicated. It’s not a science, nor is it something you need to be well experienced in to become successful.

The solution is simple

We just need to accept that cunnilingus needs to be learned!

Sexual stimuli in the woman

The female genital area has a few parts that are very important during sex, just like a man’s. Most of us know the small labia and the clitoris. These are the most sensitive to stimulation during sex.

These spots deserve the most attention, not because her other erogenous zones are not important, but because we can get a lot of information from orally stimulating these areas.

Establish your partner’s sensitivity for cunnilingus

Men who’ve performed cunnilingus on more than one woman will certainly be aware of this. No two women are the same.

Adapt cunnilingus to your unique partner.

Cunnilingus should nearly be seen as a craft. It should be completely adjusted to the one unique partner. If for example you performed cunnilingus with a girl who loved strong tongue movements with a fast pace, you could have the tendency to do the same with another sex partner.

This is where men and women differ the most. Men are not all the same either, but there is a very clear similarity in what men see as good oral sex. It’s completely different with women. Every lady needs to be ‘examined’. We need to find out if she likes a lot or little pressure with the tongue. Does she like a lot or little saliva? Does she prefer fast tongue movements or slow, intense movements? Does she like being fingered at the same time, or is it just the mouth she wants?

All these things need to be examined.

The clitoris and the small lips as measuring instruments during cunnilingus.

To make things easy, we’ll talk about two forms of cunnilingus. Faster and stronger tongue movements as opposed to slower, more intense movements. When making oral contact for the first time, and after the initial tensions have passed, a constructive approach will quickly give us an insight in what is nice for this specific girl. We build up the intensity in three steps to find out what she like the most.

Step 1. Soft, massaging movements with little pressure on the small lips and the clitoris will provoke a reaction.

You need to watch this reaction.  Keep up this soft approach for a few minutes (yes minutes!).

Step2. Don’t try and increase the pace of the tongue movements, just press a little harder on her sensitive spots with your tongue.

Now pay attention to the following:

1. Does her physical reaction become stronger?
2. Does her physical reaction stay the same?

Step 3. If her physical reaction became stronger in step 2, keep the pressure with your tongue, but increase the pace of the movements, and ask the same questions again:

1. Does her physical reaction become stronger?
2. Does her physical reaction stay the same?

This way you can find out which combination of the two most important factors of cunnilingus, speed and pressure, work the best for your partner.

Spreading and alternation

You now know which combination of pressure and speed give your partner the most pleasure. In the next step you’ll learn to find out if she wants you to keep the focus on her most central spots, or if she also wants to enjoy stimulation of her outer labia.

The application is similar. Keep the same pressure and speed but slowly move your mouth a little down to the centre of her vagina and back to the clitoris. If this has a positive effect, try and go down even further. Don’t just do this once, but repeat the moving away from the clitoris a few times. You’ll find out in no time:

1. If she likes it when you focus on the whole vulva area.
2. If she appreciates the on-and-off stimulation of her clitoris.

Your endurance during giving lip service

The basic movements of your mouth and tongue are not hard to control. It is harder to go on for a long time with cunnilingus. When you’ve been working for a while with intense tongue movements, your tongue might lose its power and can slowly start feeling cramped. Don’t just stop giving cunnilingus while you‘ve been stimulating her clitoris rhythmically.

To protect yourself from all this you need to be aware of it before you start. Nearly every man is confronted with this during cunnilingus. Be prepared. If you notice that your partner enjoys higher pressure and/or a faster pace, work yourself up to it in brief moments. Then decrease the speed and rest your tongue a bit. In this way you add variety, save energy and still give her the force and intensity she’s asking for.

The next subject is breathing.  The cunnilingus positions are not fit for long sessions. But to have an effect it needs to be carried out uninterrupted for many women.

My advice is ‘keep it up’. Keep in mind that it is not always easy for her either when the rolls are reversed. If you find the unnatural position too difficult, make sure to put your partner in a position that makes it easier for you to access her sensitive parts. If you need some more inspiration you can always check these three cunnilingus tricks.

The position at the side of the bed can save you neck!

One good way is to bring her legs to the edge of the bed. You can sit on your knees in front of her, so you don’t need to bend your neck as much and you’ll get more oxygen which will come from underneath.

Odours and fluids during cunnilingus

This subject needs to be discussed. Unfortunately the male and female genitals are not made of glass. They are living parts of the human body. Odours, taste and fluids are all part of this. The vagina has a self-cleaning mechanism which keeps out the germs because of the higher pH.

The pH is different in every woman, which affects the taste during cunnilingus.

If you are really sensitive to this, I would advise you to prepare mentally. If you find it difficult you can try and breathe through your mouth. In my opinion a man shouldn’t make this a problem. Make sure you don’t make any remarks about this; it’s a subject that can be quite a sensitive one. You would find it annoying if it was the other way round. You are both responsible for being clean and hygienic during sex. You can be sure she knows that too.

The vagina also produces a fluid during arousal, this happens in the para-urethral glands. This fluid helps make the vagina smoother during penetration. It can become quite wet during cunnilingus. If you notice that your partner produces a lot of moisture, you can try and use less saliva. Don’t be afraid to swallow. Do this a few times to get used to it and then do it regularly to prevent excessive moisture.

Learning how it is done from a woman

Over the last few years I have immersed myself in everything to do with what can improve a man’s sex life. Cunnilingus is a very important part of this.

I soon came to the decision that men are not the best sources of information in this field. So I partnered with sex coach Eveline de Bruin. She told me things about the female body that I would never have discovered myself. I can tell you one thing I’m sure of: you learn the best cunnilingus from a woman!

Together we worked hard to develop a way in which every man can expand his cunnilingus experience to a point where they can pleasure any woman. There are those little secrets that men are not aware of. The erogenous zones that women will never point out to you and those super sensitive spots that can give her the most intense orgasms she ever had.

If you are one of those men who can put his pride aside and admit that cunnilingus is something we don’t know automatically, but we can learn, have a look at ‘The ultimate Cunnilingus method.