9 Fast Tips for Lasting Longer in Bed

We know what you’re thinking every time the subject of premature ejaculation and tips for lasting longer comes up…“Oh God, I don’t have time to learn some Tantric orgasm technique! I don’t have weeks or months to adjust my lifestyle, take herbs or learn a whole new way of making love!”

Of course not, who has time for that? All men really want are some fast tips for lasting longer in bed without years of investment! Take heart—you don’t have to become a black belt in any discipline just to get laid. Here are 9 fast tips for lasting longer in bed and they WILL work for most men.

Tips for Lasting Longer and Overcoming PE

1. Determine how long you want to last. Then, increase the foreplay before penetration.

According to LloydsPharmacy’s Online Doctor, the average man lasts about five and a half minutes. This means that true “premature ejaculation” sees a man ejaculating after only two minutes. Many men go over five minutes while only one in ten come under two minutes. This means that if you’re lasting at least 3 minutes or up to 7 minutes, you’re probably competing with most men in terms of staying power. You may not even have any problems with PE…you just want to please your mate!

What you must do is essentially “choreograph” your sexual routine. Decide how long you want to last and have a beginning, middle and end in mind, so that it’s not a question of just ejaculating when you feel yourself about to blow. It’s a question of how can you slow things down—using oral sex, foreplay, caressing and other techniques that precede penetration.

2. Master the start-stop technique, so that you can learn self-control and come ONLY when your mate wants you to come.

The start and stop technique involves learning your own scale of passion. You start sexual stimulation, build it up to a point, and then stop BEFORE you reach the point of no return, where ejaculation can’t be controlled. For most men who have never tried this technique they might get aroused and reach a “7” on a scale of 1-10. That 7 quickly becomes an 8, then a 9 and then 10—boom ejaculation and orgasm! The reason being, they’ve never tried to HOLD their excitement at a 7 or an 8 and try to prolong sexual pleasure without feeling the need to ejaculate quickly. A man could even learn to “edge” closer to an 8 or 9 and then STOP himself from orgasming by ceasing all touching and penetration. This practice of slower stimulation with stopping and starting points can be practiced through masturbation or even with a partner.

3. Masturbate BEFORE the encounter happens.

This trick is a bit of a cliché but for some men it really works. A man is usually only as hard as the last time he came. Not surprisingly if you go days or even weeks without sex (and poor you!) then you will probably pop your load quickly. However, your penis can become slightly desensitized to stroking if you come more often—and if you come hours or even minutes before “round two.” Many men will masturbate before sex happens, so that the second time they get hard after the first ejaculation, they can stay harder longer.

4. Distract yourself from too much stimuli…play a game of numbers.

Sometimes you hear tips for lasting longer that are downright strange. For instance, the idea of imagining something unsexy or disgusting while penetrating a woman. The more grotesque the image, the less you’re actually enjoying what you’re doing! On the other hand, if you’re staring at a woman who turns you on then her hollering and flexing all your favorite parts is just making your job twice as difficult.

This is why it might be a good idea to actually distract your brain from hyper-focusing on the extreme stimulation and instead focus on a neutral activity—like math. For instance, Lloyd Pharmacy suggests that men can take “mental breaks” during sex while their bodies continue to perform. By thinking of multiplication tables, he can avoid over-stimulating the brain—which directly brings about orgasm. Orgasm is a mental process that results in physical reactions. Along the same lines, you also have the option of counting strokes…

When you count strokes, you are consciously aware of how you are thrusting inside of her. You’re not just mindlessly penetrating until you feel the urge to ejaculate. You start and stop. You change the rhythm of penetration. Some men practice 7 shallow strokes (stimulating just the middle of the shaft) and then go to 9 deeper strokes that stimulate the base of the shaft. They may even add in stimulating the head of the penis, another sensation. Others may actually thrust their penis and penetrate in a north, south, east or west direction. This takes conscious effort and actually distracts a man from focusing only on the pressure he feels. Some men take the more simple approach of counting 1000 strokes. They vary the rhythm according to their stamina, but the most important point is that they consciously count each stroke, dividing the brain’s attention from physical pleasure and mental activity.

5. Change positions several times.

If you’re nearing an explosion and there’s no mental distraction strong enough to help you then do the logical thing—STOP the penetration and find a good reason to do so. Changing positions is not only an effective way to reduce friction and get blood flowing back OUT of the penis, but it’s also a sexy excuse to use with your partner. The idea of changing positions and enjoying new sensations, new stroking patterns, and new “scenery” of each other is erotic. It’s much more romantic than just saying, “I can’t hold it!” You can change positions just when you feel your arousal reaching a 7 or 8 level.

Ideally, the goal is not to start and stop frequently, but rather find a position that enables the both of you to have a slower rhythm, not the usual “fast and deep” thrusting that everyone assumes is “real sex.” Slower rhythms are okay, particularly in positions like woman-on-top. His partner can control the penetration by moving back and forth slowly and reduce penetration to the penis tip. Rear end or doggy style may also help you, as would any position that forces the man to be active and use his muscles—circulating the blood and distracting himself from too much stimulation at once. Of course, this works best when you have an open conversation about the problem and the strategy you’re both pursuing.

While many men don’t like the “shame” of confessing premature ejaculation, it’s simply the most effective way to tackle the problem. Rather than make things awkward by trying too hard and not speaking to your partner about what you’re doing, be open and explain to her that her beauty is too much to handle. You need a little help with endurance. This simple confession will allow her to work with you. You can develop signals and cues with each other and they don’t have to be clinical. They can be just as sexy as role playing. Intimate communication can give you a solution as simple: “Let the woman come first, through oral sex or fingering, and then penetrate later, when she’s already satisfied.” There may be a number of ideas you can try together.

1.     Use the Masters and Johnson Squeeze technique when you’re out of time.

According to the Deccan Chronicle, The Masters and Johnson Squeeze technique can help a man resist ejaculating even if he reaches slightly beyond the point of no return. The technique involves his partner, or the man himself, stopping erotic activity, and then squeezing the area right below the penis head. The pressure should be firm (but not too rough!) using the thumb and forefinger. Squeezing firmly, you should be able to directly feel the urethra (a tube-like area inside and under the penis head) and stop the flow of ejaculate if it starts to come out.

Remember, STOP erotic activity before trying the squeeze. The most common mistakes men make when using this technique is waiting too long to use it (trying to stop a 9 or a 10) or not actually STOPPING the erotic activity. You obviously can’t access the penis head if you’re inside of a woman and are already reaching a 9. You would have to train yourself to withdraw seconds BEFORE ejaculation, so you can come out of her at a level 8 or 9, and then use the squeeze to calm down.

2.     Breathe deeper and involve your whole body.

One reason that a man might come too soon is because of his rapid breathing. Shallow breathes accelerate sexual arousal. If a man becomes too excited because of rapid inhales and exhales, this sends a signal to orgasm, and he ejaculates. This process can actually be slowed by avoiding sexual tension and tight pressure. Spend time relaxing before sex and during sex. Breathe deeply by taking deep breaths with your nose, holding it, and then slowly releasing through your mouth. This is called diaphragm breathing and will help you to control your body and stop yourself from becoming too tense. The deeper you breathe the more control you maintain.

You can also add Kegel exercises to these breathing patterns. The same area where the “M&J Squeeze” takes place is also involved in ejaculation and urinating. Stop the flow of urine with an internal flex. Do this throughout the day even if you’re not peeing. This is strengthening the PC muscle. When used in combination with deeper breathing, this not only physically relaxes you, but it also divides your mind, allowing you to focus more on technique and less on arousing sexual stimuli.

3.     Make like you’re single and use a condom.

If you’re already single and using condoms, great! Even if you’re in a long-term relationship, condoms can help tremendously. According to Men’s Health, there are now desensitizing condoms that include a lidocaine or benzocaine analgesic topical solution on the inside of the condom. These creams will temporarily desensitize feeling in your penis, allowing for a steadier rhythm without breaking. Besides the numbing agent, thicker condoms actually help men last longer because they provide further layers of latex which reduces sensitivity.

4.     The fastest cure—changing the neurochemistry of your body!

While taking medication is a somewhat radical solution, it’s also the fastest way to ensure greater stamina. If you are extremely sensitive SSRI antidepressants (prescribed by a doctor) can help desensitize your penis and delay ejaculation beyond your usual timing. It’s so likely to work, that SSRI drugs list delayed ejaculation as a side effect. Therefore, if your problem is oversensitivity that doesn’t seem to be addressed with other techniques, this may be the most drastic but effective solution.

Viagra is the opposite—a sildenafil citrate drug that treats impotence. While it does not directly affect staying power, it CAN help men who suffer from weak erections while also decreasing the refractory period after orgasm. At the very least, you could come once through masturbation or intercourse and then try again within minutes—not having to wait hours for a second chance. Viagra can also help you develop or keep erections for a longer period of time, which works well when trying the start and stop method. Some men anecdotally suggest Viagra may even help with staying power, especially if they are able to “edge” and change positions frequently.

As you can see, these fast tips for lasting longer in bed are not complicated, not do they take months to learn. You can start practicing them solo at any time or with your partner tonight. Even the most radical solution, drug treatment, can provide a solution within a week.

Why suffer in silence? Talk about premature ejaculation with your doctor and especially with your partner. There are always solutions when you identify the problem and can create strategies for treatment. The end result is a more satisfying sex life for you and your partner.