- in Attraction by Mark Meyers
The 10 Absolute Must-Knows for One Night Stands
We live in an amazing time, man: We have never been alive in a more sexually free and expressive society, and more and more people have never been this open to the idea of one night stands (ONS).
I mean just a few centuries ago, you could be killed for dating the wrong person.
ONS can be fun if you’ve never tried them, and let’s face it, almost every guy wants to at least once. But, you can always improve your game even if you’re a seasoned player.
Either way, it’s worth having a clear background on how it really goes down, how to actually make it worthwhile, and even the possible consequences of doing it.
Let’s go through the 10 absolute must-knows of one night stands:
Table of contents
- 1 1. One Night Stand: Is It for You?
- 2 2. Be Outgoing and Find the Right Partner
- 3 3. Asking the “Question”: Communication Is Key
- 4 4. Logistics and Light Physical Touching/Kissing
- 5 5. Things to Watch out For
- 6 6. Doing It Well: Sex Tips to Keep in Mind
- 7 7. Knowing What She Likes
- 8 8. Be Open about What You Like
- 9 9. Things to Openly Discuss Afterwards
- 10 10. Keeping Things Good between You Two
1. One Night Stand: Is It for You?
The first and foremost thing to question, if the idea of one night stand suddenly slips into your mind, is if it’s even for you.
What do I mean? Well, if you’re committed to someone else, whether you’re exclusively dating, engaged, or married, then forget the idea. The only exception is when have an “open” arrangement with your partner.
It’s not worth cheating. Either stay with your partner, or break up and be single to do this.
Moreover, one night stands are not emotionally fulfilling. A lot of guys try to drown themselves in a sea of vagina to feel validated, but in the end, all the women in the world won’t make you feel whole (speaking from experience). It might be hard to answer this at the outset, but ask yourself if you just want to do ONS for validation and seeking approval.
If you want to have them, be sure you’re coming at it from a healthy, adult angle, in that they won’t fill you up, and that you’re doing it purely for fun.
2. Be Outgoing and Find the Right Partner
Here are three things to keep in mind when it comes to attracting a woman who’d be down or interested in ONS:
Find the Best Places
When I say the “best” places, I mean don’t go wandering into a farmer’s market or a grocery store. You’ll mostly be hitting house parties, clubs, bars, and lounges.
You also don’t want to appear strange or like a “creeper” stalking around for prey, so it’s usually good to go with at least one friend, or your “wingman”. As they say, divide and conquer. The point is to have fun. You and your friend will be able to push each other, and can play off any possible rejections.
Dress to Impress
You’re aiming to have the best sex yet, right? Well, you really have to prove that you’re worth your “target’s” time. Dress well and be confident about how you look. It’s always easier to find a partner and get her attention when you look great.
Trust me – it’s not enough to simply have the handsome face, but rather, you’ll also need to have that strong magnetic attraction.
As the saying goes, “Look good, feel good.”
Find Your Prospect (Screening)
You’re all set and ready – it’s time to start your search!
Obviously the first thing to screen for is if the girl has a boyfriend or not: The last thing that you would want to happen is to go home with bruises as you approached a girl with her boyfriend around.
Approach her, introduce yourself, and offer her a drink. It doesn’t hurt as well to confirm by personally asking this question: “Are you with someone?”
Don’t over-complicate this: Just straight up ask her, and if she does have a boyfriend, move on to the next girl.
3. Asking the “Question”: Communication Is Key
From her answers and the way she vibes with you, you should be able to somehow gauge if she would be willing to do something crazy with you.
The next thing to do is to actually make things more exciting for her and there is no better way but leading the conversation down an increasingly playful and sexually path.
Though we know that you’re really after knowing if she is game for a one night stand, you’ll still need to discreetly find out: Unless a girl is SUPER down, directly asking about coming over for sex will not work…and you’ll probably get slapped in the process.
While you’re talking to her, you have to keep these in mind:
Keep things light. You don’t want her to misinterpret your intentions to something serious as you like her and you want to be with her in a relationship (though that might happen later).
Know the limits to this. Avoid asking questions about past relationships, interests, love, and anything romantic. Focus on making the conversation fun and adventurous.
This is the best time to be flirty. Being one would help you gauge if she is actually the same type and would be open to the thought of a one night stand with you.
TIP: Also check out this article on what questions to ask a girl to see if she’s interested in you.
4. Logistics and Light Physical Touching/Kissing
The bane of every player’s life is logistics: If she’s staying with a friend, if she’s the birthday girl, if she has to leave right from the venue to go home…it’s probably not going to happen.
Casually asking questions that screen for this will help you move on to the next girl faster if she’s not available:
“What are you celebrating tonight?”
“Do you live around here?”
“Did you come with friends?”
If you get answers that point to her being alone or with one friend, living alone, etc…then you’re probably good to go. If not, try to politely end the conversation and go find someone else. You can take her number for later if you’d like to still see her another time.
If the logistics questions go well, you’ll want to up the physical contact and make sure you go in at least for a light kiss. Kissing breaks sexual tension, and the higher that stays, the more she’ll want to chase it by going home with you. If you make out all over the club, the “energy” and “magic” is gone, and it’ll be harder to pull her.
5. Things to Watch out For
There are two important things to watch out for, and if you would take my advice, I would say that these would be on the aspect of paying and being safe.
Never come empty-handed. Keep in mind that should you decide to go for a motel/hotel instead of your place, then you’re going to be the one to pay. Come prepared and always have enough cash with you.
Another thing is to always be safe and cautious. As you aim to do something fun and nothing serious, then be aware of the possible consequences. There’s tons of talk about the fun of rampant, casual, sex, but not on the downsides.
In what sense? Well, though you may have talked for a while, keep in mind that you really don’t entirely know that person. It’s always safe to simply bring the amount of money you need for that night, your phone, and a condom with you. Don’t bring extra cash or valuables.
If you intend to bring girls back to your place, you might want to consider locking up your valuables beforehand. You might think this sounds paranoid, but again, you don’t really know these girls that well: People might seem nice but that doesn’t mean that they are – it’s better to err on the side of caution.
Speaking of condoms – use one. STIs are all over the place and so is the potential for pregnancy.
I’m not going to dwell long on this, just wrap it up. Period.
6. Doing It Well: Sex Tips to Keep in Mind
If there is one thing to be remembered from one night stands, then that would be great sex. One night stands are almost purely judged based on how great the sex is, so the better you can perform, the more likely your chance of having a “repeat customer”, if you so desire.
While obviously putting a girl through great emotions leads to great sex, you should still stack the deck in your favor by trying to give her the best sex possible.
Here are some tips to keep in mind:
On Sex Positions
It’s all about the sex so you might as well explore as much as you can. Since there is really nothing to lose, you can check out this list of the best sex positions for one-night stands to get some ideas.
This is your chance to try each and every sex position and find out which will get both of you off the most.
On Sex Toys
In one night stands, sex toys can definitely add to the excitement. Two of the best sex toys to use would be the handcuffs/restraints, and a vibrator.
Handcuffs and restraints can allow you to be in control of the situation and women love this. Combine these with an eyeshade to go full “50 Shades” style.
Vibrators, on the other hand, will allow you to play with your partner in a way that would make you both enjoy the night. While some guys get butt hurt over the girl not being satisfied enough with just their penis only, a vibrator can make it more likely that a girl orgasms, and again becomes a “repeat customer”.
7. Knowing What She Likes
Though you have come prepared, as a man, you’ll still need to find out if she is open to the things that you would want to use and do. One night stands are made to satisfy both the woman and the man, which will never happen if you end up forcing each other to do stuff you don’t want to do.
The only way to truly enjoy the moment is doing what she likes and respecting the things that she is not open to doing: Be aggressive and dominant, but don’t force anything.
Ask her and listen to her. Find out what makes her get off, where her most sensitive spots are, and how she wants you to do it.
8. Be Open about What You Like
Now that you have listened to her, well, it’s about fair that you do the same. Tell her how you want things to start, if you want to be on top or the other way around, if you want it quick or slow – be open and tell her what you want for her to do to you and with you.
Communication is key in any “relationship”, even it’s for one night, and again, the girl will get off on being told what to do.
Lead the sex.
9. Things to Openly Discuss Afterwards
After sex and if you two have done ONS before, it’s usually assumed both people can take care of their emotions and deal with the fact that there’s no guarantee of a “call-back.”
But if you feel like the girl starts hinting at seeing you again, and you really don’t feel like it’s going to happen, you might want to have an open discussion of this being limited to one night.
She might call you a dick for using her, but only if you do this in a mean or spiteful way.
The last thing that you would want to happen is to make your partner see you in a more serious way, and worst, fall in love with you if you’re really not looking for that.
You don’t have to talk about this now. It’s up to you whether you want to do things later like the “slow fade” when the girl starts texting you again, telling her later over text, or letting her find out over time that you aren’t interested in something long term.
It’s all up to you – just be ethical, and treat your partner how you’d want to be treated.
10. Keeping Things Good between You Two
Though it’s all about casual sex and fun, the last thing you want is to have a bad reputation. Even if you live in a bigger city, word can spread and you might find women judging you and being cold to you…especially if you’re going to the same venues over and over.
You can avoid this by keeping that night, and everything that happened, between the two of you. Don’t spread it around.
And in any case that you’re both willing to go into something more continuous like friends-with-benefits, then it’s crucial that you ended your first night together well.
One night stands can be amazing, fun, and a great time as long as you go in with the right expectations. By keeping these 10 points in mind, you’re on your way to amazing sex, great women, and stories you’ll remember forever.